Desmond Amofah
'Etika'
1990 - 2019

"I'm sorry for betraying all of your trust. I'm sorry for the manipulative things I've done, and I'm sorry I never sought help for myself.

I've made my bed, and now I've got to sleep in it. Please learn from my example. Don't be like me. Don't push away the people that care about you.

I've always lived my life as a clown, so I guess that's all my 'legacy' will amount up to. Don't let this social media shit consume you the way it did me. I pushed away and hurt so many of you.

The good times however! MAN were they good. I've lived an incredible life filled with thrills and happiness. Even though I always was an odd ball out, I used that as my strength and brought together an incredible community of insane wild bois just like me. God I'll miss you all so much. <3

I was mentally troubled, and far too stone-headed to admit it, far too stubborn to face it, and far too scared now to deal with it."
[Suicide note left on final upload. 6/19/2019]

Our news media prefer profit over basic decency. They feigned concern as they documented every second of a good man's downward spiral. Even his suicide was not sacred, as the media milked every iota of grief they could from those he touched the hearts of, like a rat king of leeches. Finally, when confronted with the consequences of their actions, when exposed, they shifted the blame onto the impressionable youth caught up in the scandals the media themselves created.

The media own social media, and they do not care about who they harm to make their money. Don't believe me? It's in the name. Do not believe their lies when they tell you they have no skin in the game. Do not trust them when they tell you they have standards and integrity. Their continued unregulated existence under the guise of free speech, while they suppress the expression of those opposed to their monopolies and money making narratives, is a loogie in the face of ethics and morality. I wish you the best of luck navigating this mental mine field, for his sake.

I used to talk to Desmond through e-mail in 2016-2017. I had originally gotten in contact with him because I was a big fan of his stream. His enthusiastic approval of my work was one of the most validating experiences of my life up until that point. He was nothing but extremely kind to me, and made it a point to mention what he thought about my stuff. You are one of the handful of people who gave me the confidence to go as far with Pure White as I have, and for that I am eternally grateful. It's a shame that I never got to know you personally.

I used to live across from the Manhattan bridge. I moved out about a month before he killed himself. If I still lived there, and looked from my balcony at the right time, I would've seen him jump very clearly. A part of me wishes I could have seen him do it. I deeply empathize and identify with Desmond, and I didn't know him enough for his struggles to be mine, but I don't like knowing that he died alone. He didn't deserve to die alone.

This song is my reconciliation for this failure I feel. If you believe it's too late, I understand you. There is someone out there who understands you. I wish I could make this better for you, but we both know that that's impossible. You are the reason why Pure White exists. You have done some good, rest assured in knowing that. Your efforts have been recognized. I know you're there. You're not invisible to me.

You're not invisible to me.

To his family, if you are reading this, please understand that I mean no disrespect in making this song. I want people to understand what he went through so that I can hopefully help prevent as many repeats of this tragedy as I can.